


To be left behind

by purplefox



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 16:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8496928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: They don't cope with loss well, also Kushina is so so sorry





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've created a need in myself for this pairing lol. This is small but I did want to write a bit of comfort and angst

When she had grieved for her village it was not Minato she had gone to. Minato would have understood but she had not wanted to share that with him at the time, they were close but not close enough that she wanted to break down in front of him as she bared her pain to the world.

She had raged, cried. It had hurt and for hours she had been lost in her own grief. The hands that had held her, stroked her hair and said nothing as she raged on had been a relief. When she had run out of tears, her body shuddering as she hiccupped and felt wretched the cold hand that had lifted her chin turned her to face him had been gentle.

The understanding in his eyes had almost made tears flow from her all over again. She had sat up and he had held her. She knew there was stuff he had been busy doing. Lab reports, reports and patrols in general that he should have been doing. He had always been busy yet he had taken the time to comfort her.

She had sniffed into his shoulder as his hand supported her head and her body shuddered from the grief. In the cold lab underground she had exhausted herself until she was ready for words, to say them and to speak them.

“They are gone. Everything is gone.” She had said softly. She had looked at her hands, tugged at her hair and felt so alone and lost.

“Yes it is.” Orochimaru’s golden eyes held a deep regret as he looked at her. “So is war. Loss is a part of war but it does not change the pain you feel. You’ll carry it with you.” He took her hand in his, gently tugging it away from her hair. “It won’t be easy you will feel it for the rest of your life but you’re not alone.” His smile was soft. “You still have something to cling to even though your home is gone. Your friends will help you. They won’t understand but they will try.”

“Sensei.” She had sobbed, her world had fallen around her but she was still standing because he was with her. He had always been by her side. Since she had entered the village he had kept an eye on her and in that moment, she was grateful.

X

Which why was she had his head in her lap. Which was why tears ran down her face as the strong man she had known for ages finally allowed himself to grieve. It had been an entire two months after the end of the third war. An entire two months yet the stubborn man had held onto his pain, had helped everyone else except himself.

That he had come to her to grieve soothed her better than anything else could. That of all people he had dropped his walls with her soothed her heart. His sobs echoed in the small chamber as Orochimaru cried and sobbed.

When the sobs themselves ceased and only the tight grip on her dress and the occasional tear drop onto her legs let her know of his tears her hand stroked his hair gently before she spoke. “You really loved him.”

“Them.” He corrected, his voice was hoarse from continued tears and his sobs. His grip on her dress eased. “I loved them… both of them.” A tear rolled down his cheek. “I know how this goes, I have to move on. I will move on but it doesn’t change that living afterwards is hard. Being the one to live is agony.”

“Dan-san and Nawaki-kun, they loved you too.” She said softly. How could they not? She had too often see Nawaki do what others had not dared to do, jump on the unsuspecting Orochimaru’s back. She had seen Dan defer to Orochimaru even seek him out for advice. The marriage for Tsunade and Dan, Orochimaru had been making plans for it. He and Tsunade had been researching old customs to modify something for them.

There had been the look in Orochimaru’s eyes when Dan and even Nawaki had sought him out. Just like how Tsunade had been gutted by the loss so had Orochimaru but no one had noticed. No one except her. She wrapped her arms around him again and felt her heart hurt for him.

“Sacrificing your life for others… it is a hard thing to do.” Orochimaru said softly. “Many can’t do that. Many consider it strength. But in certain situations, it can be considered cowardice.” She stiffened at his words even as she continued to listen. “Sometimes living on afterwards is the strongest thing you can do but it requires a strength not many have, to live on after loss and failure, knowing the road ahead is rough…” He trailed off and whoever he had to be talking about Kushina was certain he mourned their loss too. “When you could choose to live and struggle on but you choose to end your journey and escape the pain awaiting you…” He broke off as he pulled away from her. “Kushina… my apologies.” He winced and placed a hand by his forehead. “Right now I’m not myself.”

“None of us are.” She said softly. “Sensei… you’re one of the strongest men I know. You’ll survive this too. You still have something.”

“Kushina…” His smile was sad but she managed to smile back when his hand cupped her cheek. “You are one of the best things in the village. Your strength will certainly support that husband of yours.”

“Sensei.” She chuckled.

X

She was going to disappoint him. Both their decisions were going to disappoint him and break his heart further into pieces, make him colder and send him spiralling into darkness and there was no one to blame except themselves.

She shook as she watched Minato create the seals. At the back of her mind were the people who would be hurt by their actions. They were saving the village but darkness would claim many because of it and now Minato had sacrificed his life as well.

Orochimaru had called her strong, Minato strong too but he was wrong. She was going to die and so would Minato. Their child… their poor child. A tear ran down her cheek she was sad but she knew that Orochimaru had been right too. She could only hope their child would forgive them, she could only hope Orochimaru would forgive her. He was going to come back to the village only to find everything gone.


End file.
